i sit here at my computer. evening all.
alone on a monday nite.
typing away at the clickity clack of keys
what really is jealousy?
i want the ability to control it. i think im learning too.
im handling the burning sensation blooming against my cheeks.
im holding back the tears jabbing at my eye ducts and the itch in my closed palm.
i look at you, and remember how i fucked up so very long ago.
how i pushed you away in jealousy,
in fear of the unknown.
in fear that you would leave me, ironically enough.
i see that smile, and realize its not for me anymore.
that i cant make you happy.
and it hurts.
im lacking in things i cant even begin to fathom.
but this is me.
this is all i am, and all i have.
one day soon you'll look back at the days we played these games
and you'll regret never wanting to be with me again.
i heed no spite. and i want no pain brought upon you.
i merely yearn for the strength to let you go.
to see if you would return to me unskeeved and with love
one day maybe i wont be so alone.
my name is kris and i'm just dropping a line.
this is my first entry so feedback would be nice
leave me some lovin